All Stars 6 — The Dream Cast
Yes, I realise that the cast for All Stars 5 has only just been announced, and I'm definitely excited (#TeamJujubee). Indeed I'm so excited to see this bunch of old favourites and surprises that I can't resist jumping the gun and picking my fantasy roster for All Stars 6. Last year after the frustrating S11 (stop pushing storylines and let it just happen) and the upsetting All Stars 4 (life can be fair, if we just make the effort to treat each other with fairness), I felt I'd grown tired of the whole RuPaul empire. But then the absolutely fabulous Drag Race UK revived me. And then the covid-19 era came, giving me more time with the telly and making me want for more positive and fun entertainment, like this tacky little TV show.
Before I begin my list, I've given myself a couple guidelines. First, the cast can include past winners (e.g. BeBe Zahara Benet) and past All Stars (e.g. Manila Luzon), but I'd also like to include queens from Drag Race Thailand and Drag Race UK. As for who can't be included, I've decided to give S12 more breathing room (though I'd love to see Nicky Doll or Window Von'Du again one day). Ok, so here they are, in alphabetical order…
Amadiva, Thailand-S1: I wanted to include a Thai queen for All Stars, and for practical reasons (knowing how production tends to disadvantage the Latinx drag artists), I had to choose one who I knew could speak good English. Yet even without this stipulation, I think I’d have ended up choosing Amadiva anyway. Part of what makes Drag Race Thailand so special is how considered the performances are and how clever and often avant garde the looks are. More than any series of RuPaul’s franchise, it’s the Thais that have most successfully elevated drag to the level of art. Giving the All Stars platform to a Thai queen could really impact the global drag scene forever, and that’s a great thing, I see it really as raising the bar. But why Amadiva? She’s got the looks, the brain, and she's also got humour, but in particular I think her charisma would translate well to global viewers. Let's not forget that being good at talking heads is almost as important as what you do on the main stage. And Amadiva gives good heads!
Asia O’Hara, S10: This is a queen who deserves a bit of forgiveness, not just for the dead butterflies fiasco but also for her criminal Beyoncé impression in Snatch Game. In S10 I was #TeamAsia despite her gaffes; perhaps her imperfection is what makes me love her even more. And she's not afraid to give up some vanity (remember her swamp monster look) and be freeeeaaaaky — who doesn't love that?! Now with a few years to let the nerves die down, I am sure Asia O'Hara could go all the way, and I can totally see her framed portrait right up on that All Stars Wall next to Jujubee.
Charlie Hides, S9: I know, everybody hates on Charlie Hides for not lipsyncing, and I too was shouting “Do something, Charlie” at my TV while Trinity Taylor pissed on the stage all around her. Although it really is true that most UK queens sing live, we should give Charlie another chance, not for making excuses, but because she got in her head, because she was too hard on herself for royally fucking up on “Good Morning Bitches”, a challenge that should have been hers to win. If it were me just falling down like that, I’d have frozen too, but I’d have also hoped for some mercy later on. Perhaps the fact that she's so demonised is because she's different, because it's easy to hate the 'foreign' one, the older one. Admittedly I might be biased — of all the queens on this list, she's the only one I've seen perform live, and several times at that, all pre-Drag Race. She was always excellent on stage, and I just really want the world to see that too.
DiDa Ritz, S4: The queen who is almost unarguably the greatest lip sync assassin of the entire series, it’s almost crazy that she’s not been back on All Stars. DiDa Ritz can definitely perform, but she was also solid almost across the board, and she had the sweetest personality in a room dominated by bitchiness and villainery (e.g. Phi Phi O’Hara, Willam). That positive energy is something we can do with more of on our screens. I only hope that she’s got better wigs now — really the only consistent negative feedback she got on S4 was that hair. But even if she doesn't, who's even noticing her wig when you've got those legs to look at?!
Divina de Campo, UK-S1: Although I fear a non-US queen wouldn’t be 'allowed' to take the All Stars crown, Divina de Campo would have the best shot at doing it. A true all-round queen, a powerhouse of talent, a legend in need of a title, I think that the producers of Drag Race UK never could have imagined how much people would have fallen in love with Miss de Campo. Although The Vivienne took the crown (and I’m not going to argue that she deserved it), the majority of UK fans were solidly #TeamDivina. Unlike other UK stars such as Baga Chipz or Cheryl Hole, Divina’s schtick is more universal, so it's less likely that the producers would feel compelled to shove subtitles and footnotes on the screen. She’s not just a British queen, she is a truly international queen, ready to take over the world.
Jiggly Caliente, S4: One of my all time favourite queens, Jiggly Caliente doesn’t just have the C in C.U.N.T, she owns that C! The world has come a long way since she was first on, so let’s hope that this time her narrative doesn’t have to be about her imperfect teeth and larger-than-a-mannequin body size. Like another one of my favourite queens, Jujubee, she’s charming, almost everything she says is hilarious, and she still manages to be humble — that's a too-rare quality that we should celebrate more. Jiggly not only deserves more time on our screens, but she is a queen that Drag Race should be very proud to have in their herstory.
Joslyn Fox, S6: Here’s one of those queens every series tends to have, an 'unclockable' girl with body-ody-ody. But unlike most of the ‘pretty queens’, such as inventor of the "body-ody-ody" phrase herself, Courtney Act, she wasn’t turned into a villain (Joslyn Fox was the true winner of Miss Congeniality in S6 — sorry, Ben, you were really just fan favourite). Joslyn was slept on in S6, I think the producers just didn't know what box to put in rather than letting her be authentic. She was too pretty for them to let her show her intelligence, she was too in the shadow of Bianca del Rio to let her show her funny side, and they were too hell-bent on the 'second-rate Courtney' storyline to let her shine on her own. I believe she has the potential to be the next Tatianna, someone who fans don’t expect to have quite so much talent, and when we see it, we'll be kicking ourselves for having not rallied around her earlier.
Kelly Mantle, S6: I wanted to include a first-out contestant somewhere on the list. Sure, S1’s Victoria “Pork Chop” Parker would be a gag, and we’ve all heard that Laila McQueen’s done fantastic things since her S8 run, but when I look at them all, Kelly Mantle is the one who most deserves another shot. I just get these Chad Michaels vibes off her, like she’s the consummate professional who made the one little mistake by wearing a bacon dress (come on, who doesn’t like bacon anyway?). And she’s had an Oscar nomination, ffs! How amazing would it be to see a queen who was first to go make it all the way? More than any other on the first-out list, I think Kelly could do it.
Nina West, S11: Forgive me for saying this, but I’m not 100% on board with Nina West. As a guy who publishes pics of naked dudes for my career, she’s a bit too SFW for me. But that doesn’t mean I don’t admire her advocacy and her ability to make queer things a little less scary to the masses. Nina West is an obvious choice for a future All Stars, and she’ll go far, especially if she can avoid lipsyncing — though really, was her “No Scrubs” performance all that bad? If she was a skinny bitch in her early twenties doing those moves, would you all have been so mean about it?
Pandora Boxx, S2: I recently rewatched episode 1 one AS1, and for the first time I was able to see Pandora's bitterness as justified. I'm sure she has regrets, letting the big personality that is Mini Imfurst railroad over every instinct on that one episode, and besides, that whole teams thing was a tragedy that will never be forgiven until every AS1 contestant gets another shot. I didn't start watching Drag Race until S4, but I've heard that Pandora Boxx was insanely popular with fans, and that her original S2 sashay was met with more tears than when Thorgy Thor cartwheeled out of the room. I'd like to see more of what made fans fall so deeply for her, and see if she's still got it. If she gets far enough, I reckon this could be our Snatch Game winner.
Willam, S4: Call me naïve, but I don't see why everyone insists Willam could never return to Drag Race. At the end of the day, Drag Race wants viewers, and Willam would be a ratings beast. On the other side, Willam is a professional, a business bitch who's not going to turn down an opportunity. If production treats her or the other queens badly, she's not going to be quiet though, she has integrity but that's why we love her. She's divisive, but you can't knock her star power. Anyway, every All Stars series needs to include one contestant that instantly feels like the obvious winner (e.g. Shea Coulée, Shangela, Alaska, Chad Michaels), coming to redeem themselves and take the crown that should have been theirs in the first place. Willam is that queen.
Yara Sofia, S3: No shade to Alexis Mateo, but let’s be real, if Yara Sofia didn’t give up on that lipsync, she could have been in the Top 3 with Manila and Raja. And if S3-era Drag Race wasn’t so anti-Latinx, constantly making fun of her less-than-perfect English skills and apparently hilarious accent, she could have won. Yara has an utterly unique and innovative style, and a kooky personality that almost lands itself within Planet Tammie’s orbit. She deserves more time in the spotlight — I’m only afraid that Drag Race will again try to make a joke of her heritage, that they will continue to laugh at her, not with her. Hopefully things in 2020 are better than this, and if so, Yara should go very far.
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So there's my list. As for a winner, I'll have to think about it, but of course, they're all winners, right? Ok, if I have to pick now I'll say I'm #TeamYara. Anyway, I’d love to know your dream cast, so get in touch, reply, or tag this post in your list.
Liam Campbell is editor and chief photographer of Elska Magazine, a print publication all about travelling all over the world, meeting local guys, and sharing their images and stories with readers.
